Touring Brussels in Belgian fashion

Went on a very unique bus tour of Belgium today courtesy of one of the older belgian female teachers at our school. Our tour began something like this:

Tour Guide (in very french-accented English): How is zhe temperature? Iz everyone good? Everyone good?
murmers of "I'm cold" echo through the bus
Tour Guide: Ok, good dat's good
louder murmurs of "it's a little cold!"
Tour Guide: Oh ok. Well just close zhe window. We turn on the heat, it gets too hot, and everyone faints.

2 minutes later:
Tour Guide: Everyone better now? We good? Ok good. If you are getting frost bite or someshing, just come up and let me know.

During explanation of the schools in Belgium:
Tour Guide: Now zhere, zhere is de American school dat business people and such, when zhey want to send zhere kids to school, zhey go here, and hopefully the business will pay for zhem because it is private and very expensive. When I was first here I naively shought my kids could go, and I called to see how much, and zhey gave me zhe price, and I said "No, just for one student" and zhey said zhat was for one, and two was EVEN MORE! And zhen I called the British school and it was zhe same. Zho my kids went to public school. Anyway, zhat is the school.

Possibly my favorite:
Tour Guide: And now on zhis block, zhis is where the...oh wait...I never remember if it is this block or the next block. I always forget, every time. Well let's see...hmm...oh yes it was the last block. Zorry, my fault. Well now you know, if you want to visit, it is in that direction. And you can visit...well you cannot go inside and visit...but eef you want to see the building it is over in that direction and yes it is my fault, I never remember where it is...you cannot go inside but it is over zhere. sorry. Anyway, up here you see...

The tour also consisted of the bus driving backwards for 10 minutes after arriving in a parking lot and realizing that there was no where to go except backwards (with commentary by our tour guide of how Belgian drivers are "very bad") and side notes on where our guide lived, used to live, where she took the metro, and a spattering of comments on our bus driver's driving skills (Tour Guide: Now here you see zhe embassies and, well can we get by this giant garbage truck? hmm, okay, okay, okayyy...alright good...now zhat we're past zhe giant garbage truck...)

Other side comments included:

Tour Guide: Now here we are coming up on pozzibly the ugliest bit or architecture in Belgium. It's a shame really...

and

Tour Guide: and now here iz a statue and it iz of King Albert zhe first....yes, and he is naked. hmm, well not really a good portrayal of the king I zuppose, but you know...

Overall very amusing and very satisfactory. The tour lasted for 3 HOURS! Besides getting to see all of Brussels, I also saw the first of what will be many days of rainy and overcast weather. oooh well.